Just leave it Shake...

Yesterday, I went by the travel agency to drops some cash. I tend to busy myself extravagant gifts for my birthday, savings be darned. (This is not a big change from usual, I just have an excuse on my birthday.) So, this year's gift, or rather gifts, include a trip.* A trip to where, you ask? Of course you do. I am going to take three days and go to Taipei. My camera is ready and my stomach hungry. Admittedly, I may have to eat before I go, but I will be sure to be hungry while I am there. Taiwan is supposed to have wonderful food and tea. It's all supposedly cheap too. I am sure it is compared to Tokyo prices!

Sight-seeing should be fun too. The world's current tallest completed building, Taipei 101, is not too far from the hotel. I hope the top is open for tourists! If not, I may have to pretend I am the telephone guy. ("Hello. I am here to check your wiring. I believe that I am supposed to start on the top floor in the room with the best view.") There are also a number of temples and such that I would like to see. Hopefully, I won't have to impersonate the telephone guy for those too.

Language is the only thing that worries me. I am told that there are many people that speak English there. My Japanese will probably not help though. I am going to have a friend teach me the basics of the local talk. For anyone traveling to a country that speaks a language other than your own, I recommend learning the following. It will may your stay more comfortable for you and those crazy foreigners that never learn'd English. (What silly people!)

1. Hello and Goodbye
2. Please and thank you
3. Numbers, 1 trough 10
4. Yes and no
5. Is this OK?

You might want to throw in "Where's the jon?" if you are going for bonus points. Yes, it's important, but those things tend to be well marked anyway.

Numbers 2 and 5 are the most important.

5 will help you about anything you aren't sure about. For example, 'is it OK to have a napkin?' Point. "Is this OK?" Simple. How about, 'is this the right amount of money?' Hold out the money. "Is this OK?" I hope it was... What about, 'you've got it going on and I'd like to join in'? Point at the fleshy bit which most captures your attention. "Is this OK?" Get arrested. See! It's just that easy!

Number 2 is just basic politeness. People will try and help you a lot more if they think you respect them. Even if they are silly, non-english speaking foreigners!**


*(The other gift is an intake kit for my Trans Am. But I can't collect that gift until I visit America in May. I admit, this is an unhealthy obsession. But I like horses. Lots of them. Under that red hood.)

** This is a joke. It is included only as humor. No angry replies please. Also, they rarely understand the word silly.